NB Personal Attacks

Discussion in 'Rules of the Forums' started by Andre, 21/6/14.

Discuss Rules of the Forums on South Africa's Vaping Enthusiast's Forum

  1. Andre

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    Personal attacks have come up a few times in the past few days, both in action and in discussion. Below is an article from Wikiquotes, which I think is a reasonable example for us to follow:

    Don't do it.

    There is no excuse for personal attacks on other contributors. Do not make them.

    Consequences
    Remember that disputes on talk pages are accessible to everyone on the Internet. The way in which you conduct yourself on Wikiquote reflects on Wikiquote and on you.

    Most Wikiquotians remove personal attacks on third parties on sight, and although this isn't official policy it's often seen as an appropriate reaction to extreme personal abuse. Users have been banned for repeatedly engaging in personal attacks. Abusive edit summaries are particularly ill-regarded.

    Being reasonable
    Different contributors may not agree on an article. Members of opposing communities reasonably wish to express their views. Synthesising these views into a single article creates a better, more NPOV article for everyone. Remember to accept that we are all part of the same community as we are all Wikiquotians.

    Examples
    Specific examples of personal attacks include but are not limited to:
    Accusatory comments such as "Bob is a troll", or "Jane is a bad editor" can be considered personal attacks if said repeatedly, in bad faith, or with sufficient venom.
    Negative personal comments and "I'm better than you" attacks, such as "You have no life."
    Racial, sexual, homophobic, religious or ethnic epithets directed against another contributor. Religious epithets are not allowed even if the contributor is a member of a purported cult.
    Using someone's affiliations as a means of dismissing or discrediting their views - regardless of whether said affiliations are mainstream or extreme.
    Profanity directed against another contributor.
    Threats of legal action
    Death threats.
    Threats or actions which expose other Wikiquote editors to political, religious or other persecution by government, their employer or any others. Violations of this sort may result in a block for an extended period of time which may be applied immediately by any sysop upon discovery. Sysops applying such sanctions should confidentially notify the other administrators and Jimbo Wales of what they have done and why.

    Alternatives
    Instead, try:
    Discuss the facts and how to express them, not the attributes of the other party. This does not mean that you have to agree with the other person, but just agree to disagree.
    Never suggest a view is invalid simply because of who its proponent is.
    Explore issues in a less public forum like e-mail if a debate threatens to become personal.

    Remedies
    If you are personally attacked, you should ask the attacker to stop and note this policy. If he or she continues, consider contacting an administrator. You might also consider removing particularly clear-cut personal attacks; however, you should be very careful not to define "personally attack" too broadly, or to do this too frequently. If you find yourself using this remedy frequently, you should reconsider your definition of "personal attack." When in doubt, ask other users first.
    In extreme cases, an attacker may be blocked; it is entirely within the discretion of the blocking administrator to interpret personal attacks as disruption.

    A misguided notion: "Kicking them while they are down"
    Note: There are at times Wikiquote users who are unpopular, perhaps because of foolish or boorish behavior in the past. Such users may have been subject to disciplinary actions. It is only human to imagine that such users might be fair game for personal attacks. This notion is misguided; people make mistakes, often learn from them and change their ways. NPA applies to all users irrespective of their past history or how others regard them.

    Community spirit
    It is your responsibility to foster and maintain a positive online community in Wikiquote. Personal attacks against any user - regardless of his/her past or present behavior - are contrary to this spirit. Being the subject of a personal attack does not grant immunity from NPA; personal attacks in response to personal attacks can and should be dealt with as any other attack would be.
     
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  2. johan

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    To be added; Personal perception of messages are as subjective as taste of e-liquids. If you are easily offended don't enter into any debate in any forum; you will be offended.
     
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  3. Alex

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    If I could also add this, which I posted on another forum, some time ago. I think it's something we all need to consider when dealing with people online.

    Bullying is about power and dominance. In online forums, bullies use words to intimidate, isolate, and degrade their victims.

    Bullies are generally easy to pick out. Here are some common forum bully traits -
    Bullies use unsubstantiated personal attacks to denigrate their victims. Often, they make fun of their victim's intelligence, get everyone to laugh at him, and in doing so isolates and degrades their target. In this way, their victim is neutralized, and serves as a strong reminder to everyone of the bully's power. Bullies rule through fear.

    Bullies usually attack weak or new targets. The best way to get yourself into a bully's little black book of horrors is to appear weak, uncertain, and emotionally vulnerable. New members to a social group are also a bully's favorite because they are new, unproven, and do not yet have a support system. They are alone - and therefore easier to hunt-down and kill.


    Bullies hate being challenged and they hate losing. Another quick way to get yourself into the black book of horrors is to publicly challenge a bully, especially a head bully. A bully's power rests in his ability to control others through fear. If they are challenged and they lose, it will significantly erode their power. As a result, they will use excessive force to defeat public challenges.

    Bullies usually hunt in packs. There is safety and strength in numbers.As we said before, bullies hate losing, so they try to go for a sure kill.

    Bullies are afraid of strength. If they spot strong new members to the community, they will first try to recruit them. If that fails, they will usually leave them alone. Strong targets are risky and usually end up costing the bully more than he gains.

    Bullies are in-love with themselves. They have little to no empathy, and are only interested in their own activities, and their own power. A bully may help others who are in his gang, or help other respected members of the community, but only for his own advancement and glory.

    Why Be a Forum Bully?

    Bullying is popular in online forums, and other online social groups because -
    The internet is largely anonymous. Studies show that when we are anonymous, we feel less inhibited. For example, when we wear a costume and cover up our face with a mask, we feel more free to take risks. The internet allows us all to easily put on a mask and outfit. Being anonymous creates more freedoms and removes judgement based on physical appearance, race, income, and more. However, it also allows us to escape responsibility for our actions, including verbal abuse and bully behavior. Many forum bullies use the internet as a release mechanism for their real-world anger or frustration. Since they cannot shout at their boss, co-workers, or neighbors without real-world consequences, they take their frustrations out in an anonymous online forum, where there are no real consequences for their anti-social behavior.

    Negative interactions get more attention. Human nature is such that we respond more quickly and more strongly to negative comments. In this way, forum bullies are the ones that get the most attention and the most followers. This online attention positively reinforces the bullying behavior, which causes more bullying to occur.


    How to Fight Forum Bullies

    Our instinct is to fight fire with fire, to fight the negative by returning it in kind. However, that is a losing battle.

    One of the key reinforcers for the forum bully is attention.
    It does not matter to him whether it is negative or positive attention as long as it is attention. By responding, we are giving the bully what he wants. In addition, by giving an emotional, negative response, we are letting the bully know that he has gotten under our skin.

    1. Do not let forum bullies affect you.
    Forum bullies are the scum of the Earth and they deserve nothing from us - not our attention, not our time, and certainly not our emotional well-being. One of the best ways to deal with online bullies is to hit the delete button. If we cannot delete their comment in fact, then simply delete it from our consciousness and move on.
    Forum bullies are after attention so they may try to egg you on by further calling you names, calling you a coward, and raging on in a negative fashion. They will try to bring you down to their own sad level of existence.

    Delete, ignore, and a bully will shout himself out, like a young child throwing a tantrum. Hopefully, he will learn from this experience and find more productive activities with which to fill his time. Otherwise, he will simply continue to fritter his time away in negative pursuits, which will hurt him a lot more than it hurts us.


    2. Report bullies to the forum administration.
    The best way to create a healthy social environment is to report bullying behavior to the administration. In this way, the bullying is quickly stopped, and we can all get back to productive and constructive discussions, that actually involve the exchange of information.

    We want to stop bullying and pointless personal attacks because it will quickly ruin a perfectly good online community. If the community forum gets taken up with mostly tit-for-tat type shouting, nobody in their right mind would want to visit, much less participate.

    Many people act as if reporting bullying behavior is somehow cowardly, or is a suppression of free-speech. That is not the case at all. Bullying should be stopped because it is bad for the health of a community, and it clogs up the information channels with useless, pointless, and negative bickering. Bullying and personal attacks are not free-speech, rather it is verbal abuse. If we care about the community, we should all do our part to stop forum bullying.

    We are often very affected by our surrounding social environment. The more bullying there is, the more bullying it will attract. If we create an environment that is unfriendly to bullying, then these online thugs will go somewhere else to spread their particular form of decay and rot.
    3. Fight fire with water.

    It is a big waste of time to interact with forum bullies. However, if we feel compelled to converse with our friendly online thug, then the only way to fight negative verbal attacks is by dispelling it with humor and positive energy. Rehabilitating a forum bully will take a lot of patience and a lot of positive energy. There is little point to it unless we are applying for Sainthood.


    Are You a Forum Bully?

    Most of us do not think of ourselves as bullies. We are all heroes in our own minds, and a bully is no exception. In fact, many bullies see themselves as a fearless fighter for God, Country, and the path to Righteousness. The truth is, there is a forum bully in every one of us.

    Sometimes we get angry, and we lash back at others.
    Sometimes we get hurt, and we lash back at others.
    Sometimes we are busy, and do not realize that we have said something hurtful or negative.

    The key though is to recognize those negative actions and to take steps to correct them. When we commit negative acts and bullying behavior, we not only hurt others, but actually end up hurting ourselves most.

    You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.—Matthew 5:38-42, NIV

    Today, many of us see nonresistance or nonviolence as a weakness. After all, if we turn the other cheek, we may just keep getting slapped. Therefore, we are encouraged to slap back and show strength. Bullies try to turn everyone into their likeness by calling us cowards for not resorting to verbal violence.
    I used to think that "turning the other cheek" was a weakness. After all, why should I spare pain to a bully when he seems to have no concern for me or others. It was not until later that I realized that "cheek turning" is not really for the bully, but for me.

    Negative energy infects, and bullies carry negative energy like plague ridden fleas. The way to combat this particular plague is not by spreading more negative energy. Rather, we want to dispel the negativity with positive energy or just ignore the flea and use plenty of repellent.

    When we commit negative acts and bullying behavior, we not only hurt others, but actually end up hurting ourselves most.
     
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  4. johan

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    Very well explained and like your suggestions Alex

    Tapatalk
     
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  5. Chop007

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    If we are devided we fall, if we are united we stand, simple as that. It does not matter what color, creed, Religion, economic background, who you represent, all should be welcome on this forum, as a South African it is our right. As a vapor it is an unspoken pledge to stand in unity. People make mistakes, people have mood swings, thus is life.

    Very often we think that because we are online, it is just some kind of game and nobody gets hurt, but lets face it, there are real consequences to our actions. Do unto others as we would have done unto us. A simple principal as old as the hills themselves. If somebody is constantly beat down, then at the end of the day they either get ticked off, have resentment or try get even. I have however realized that being on any forum we need to also express another central attribute in our exietnce as human beings and that is forgiveness, no matter what. In having forgiveness, we not only help the individual who insulted us, but we also disinfect our very core and take a huge wieght off our own shoulders. resentment makes us sour and has no real benifits.

    However, the most incredibly important phraze I have ever heard is this: "With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibillity." Just remember that the oak you treat kak today, could end up bailing you out of a jam tomorrow. And there are people far worse off than us. Favouratism, backtalk, sneaky tactics, deception, manipulation, anger etc etc, these are dark things I have very little time for and when I see it I simply do not respond to it. Luckily I have not yet seen it on this forum.

    Positive attributes like love for one another, respect, assisting those in need, guidance, perserverance, courage in the face of great odds, I have seen in much more abundance on this forum than the ugly stuff. So I say well done Eciggsa and cudos to the leaders here for keeping a balanced persepctive and treating all as equals, regardless of their online status. The online revolution arena is a tricky one and it is not easy to transpose regulatory guidlines that can benifit everyone and treat everyone equally. Often folks represent themselves differently thatn they are in real life, the very nature of our forum names being a pseudo character adds to this 'Dr Jeckyll and Mr Hide' phenomenon. I think it is however rather simply although we all faulter from time to time, respect yourself enough to have the ultimate respect for others, even when they do not respect you. And when all else fails, jam some Bob Marley, The Eagles, Creed, Lobo, whatever your poison, have good ol vape, and remember why you fell in love with vaping in the first place. And if some folks do not like you, well, even Chuck Norris has his doubters and they will eventually make of you a stronger more lovingindividual.

    God Bless all and once again, thanks for the awesome forum, with awesome folks and a mellow vibe.
     
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  6. annemarievdh

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    @Alex. Very good read. Thank you, now I understand why I've always been a target in real live.

    Lucaly on this forum I've always been helped and supported. Never felt like a victim. I love it here. Thank you to all the members for being such a wonderfull bunc of weerdows. Love you guys !!!
     
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  7. Rob Fisher

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    Rob Fisher Reonaut / ECIGSSA Admin Vaping: 3 Years Staff Member Administrator ECIGSSA Donor VIP FINES MASTER

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    I think this pretty much sums it up!

     
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