Giggles

A man was stopped by the police around 2 am. The officer asked him where he was going at that time of night.

The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replied, "That would be my wife."
 
True story.

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very very spot on
 
After a long day on the golf course, I stopped in at Hooter's to meet some friends and have some hot Wings and an ice tea. After being there for a while, one of my friends asked me which waitress I would like to be stuck in an elevator with.I told them "The one who knows how to fix elevators". I'm old, I'm tired, and I have to pee a lot.
 
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