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I wanted to ask a question. Why are there no white Atties? Mods come in white. Why not Atties? Or have I just missed them all?
Stuff that happened to you that doesnt deserve a thread
- Thread starter Anneries
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I need to get something off my chest because it's truly getting me down, so much so that I've become ill with stress.
Two weeks ago, a woman posted on one of our Yzerfontein FB groups, the following, "Hey julle ek soek werk. Enige werk. Ek is 23 jaar oud en ek bly op Yzerfontein" (My translation: Hey you I'm looking for work. Any work. I'm 23 years old and I live in Yzerfontein". I commented "If you're looking for work you don't start off by saying "Hey julle". That's unprofessional."
Well, about 15 people replied in anger to my comment. Disagreeing with me is one thing, but their comments to me and about me were vicious, poisonous and filled with utter hatred. I let it go ... until one woman referred to me as a "*****". That's when I removed the entire post - and removed her from the group (I'm a moderator). I informed the Admin of the group of why I had removed her and told her that she (the woman whom I removed) can be glad that that's all that I'm doing, at present. I took a screenshot of her post in case I might need it in future.
Everything's done and dusted - or so I thought. Last week I went to a local place just outside Yzer for breakfast. I was sitting outside, no-one else was there, when a woman approached me and berated me, again, for what I'd said. She informed me that people in Yzer stick together; that they don't like what I said and don't like me. I told her I don't care whether they like me or not - they're not my friends. Many of my friends and people I know in Yzer agreed with what I'd said, but they didn't post their agreement on FB for professional reasons (they're all business owners here). She told me, "Get out! Get out of Yzer! You're not wanted here!". I like to pretend that I'm a real tough cookie, but actually it hurt like hell. (Some of you might have read my post about not being able to taste e-liquid when one is upset - it was on that day). She also told me that if I dare to say anything about this (our "conversation") on FB, she'd sue me.
Everything's done and dusted - or so I thought, again. However, yesterday I was told by a friend of mine that this woman is now going around Yzerfontein stirring people up against me and that her purpose is to get me to leave.
There's a little shopping centre where @Andre, Belinda and I had breakfast. I often used to go there at lunch-time and join the shop-owners for lunch. Now, it's difficult - the woman who told me to leave Yzer helps out at one of the shops there and she's been telling everyone there how mean and cruel I am and that she's decided (!!!) that I must leave Yzer. She even criticised a friend of mine, who owns the coffee shop where Andre and I had breakfast, for being friends with me, to which my dear friend replied, "What's it to you who I'm friends with??"
Yzer is a small place - there are only about 1,500 permanent residents (the rest of the houses are holiday homes), so you can imagine how personal this is. Yes, I was outspoken and unfortunately that is my way. As a friend of mine said, "When I want the truth you are the person I ask". Unfortunately this has backfired. I ws indeed outspoken in my comment to the person who was looking for a job, but I wasn't vicious - yet what is now being directed against me is vicious indeed.
It hurts like hell to know that people hate me so much that they don't even want me in their town!! It's getting me down so much that I've become quite ill. On Saturday I had such a lovely morning. I fetched my repaired Twisp and then had brunch at a delightful little place on Eden on the Bay, where I could sit outside and vape. I felt happy ... until I drove back into Yzerfontein. And then I felt so sad and full of dread.
All of this sounds like high-school drama, doesn't it? I've read on the Internet about teenagers committing suicide because of things that were said about them on FB and I could never understand what the big deal. Now, I understand - and I'm a mature woman and I can't cope with it, so how can one expect teenagers to cope?
I really don't know how to handle the situation. One thing is for sure - I'm not leaving. I love my house here.
Another thing that is for sure, is that I will NEVER comment on FB again. In fact, I'm hardly doing anything on FB at all (other than entering competitions lol). I used to share posts about events in the surrounding areas and municipality notifications to the group - not anymore. I don't think these people are worth my time and data.
Thanks to my forum family who has given me the chance to talk about all of this.
Two weeks ago, a woman posted on one of our Yzerfontein FB groups, the following, "Hey julle ek soek werk. Enige werk. Ek is 23 jaar oud en ek bly op Yzerfontein" (My translation: Hey you I'm looking for work. Any work. I'm 23 years old and I live in Yzerfontein". I commented "If you're looking for work you don't start off by saying "Hey julle". That's unprofessional."
Well, about 15 people replied in anger to my comment. Disagreeing with me is one thing, but their comments to me and about me were vicious, poisonous and filled with utter hatred. I let it go ... until one woman referred to me as a "*****". That's when I removed the entire post - and removed her from the group (I'm a moderator). I informed the Admin of the group of why I had removed her and told her that she (the woman whom I removed) can be glad that that's all that I'm doing, at present. I took a screenshot of her post in case I might need it in future.
Everything's done and dusted - or so I thought. Last week I went to a local place just outside Yzer for breakfast. I was sitting outside, no-one else was there, when a woman approached me and berated me, again, for what I'd said. She informed me that people in Yzer stick together; that they don't like what I said and don't like me. I told her I don't care whether they like me or not - they're not my friends. Many of my friends and people I know in Yzer agreed with what I'd said, but they didn't post their agreement on FB for professional reasons (they're all business owners here). She told me, "Get out! Get out of Yzer! You're not wanted here!". I like to pretend that I'm a real tough cookie, but actually it hurt like hell. (Some of you might have read my post about not being able to taste e-liquid when one is upset - it was on that day). She also told me that if I dare to say anything about this (our "conversation") on FB, she'd sue me.
Everything's done and dusted - or so I thought, again. However, yesterday I was told by a friend of mine that this woman is now going around Yzerfontein stirring people up against me and that her purpose is to get me to leave.
There's a little shopping centre where @Andre, Belinda and I had breakfast. I often used to go there at lunch-time and join the shop-owners for lunch. Now, it's difficult - the woman who told me to leave Yzer helps out at one of the shops there and she's been telling everyone there how mean and cruel I am and that she's decided (!!!) that I must leave Yzer. She even criticised a friend of mine, who owns the coffee shop where Andre and I had breakfast, for being friends with me, to which my dear friend replied, "What's it to you who I'm friends with??"
Yzer is a small place - there are only about 1,500 permanent residents (the rest of the houses are holiday homes), so you can imagine how personal this is. Yes, I was outspoken and unfortunately that is my way. As a friend of mine said, "When I want the truth you are the person I ask". Unfortunately this has backfired. I ws indeed outspoken in my comment to the person who was looking for a job, but I wasn't vicious - yet what is now being directed against me is vicious indeed.
It hurts like hell to know that people hate me so much that they don't even want me in their town!! It's getting me down so much that I've become quite ill. On Saturday I had such a lovely morning. I fetched my repaired Twisp and then had brunch at a delightful little place on Eden on the Bay, where I could sit outside and vape. I felt happy ... until I drove back into Yzerfontein. And then I felt so sad and full of dread.
All of this sounds like high-school drama, doesn't it? I've read on the Internet about teenagers committing suicide because of things that were said about them on FB and I could never understand what the big deal. Now, I understand - and I'm a mature woman and I can't cope with it, so how can one expect teenagers to cope?
I really don't know how to handle the situation. One thing is for sure - I'm not leaving. I love my house here.
Another thing that is for sure, is that I will NEVER comment on FB again. In fact, I'm hardly doing anything on FB at all (other than entering competitions lol). I used to share posts about events in the surrounding areas and municipality notifications to the group - not anymore. I don't think these people are worth my time and data.
Thanks to my forum family who has given me the chance to talk about all of this.
It always amazes me how some "adults" can behave in such a way!
That is really awful and in such a small community it's terrible that you now have to deal with it and live with it. I would say you need to try and not let her get the better of you. Let people make up their own minds, and soon they'll be telling her to STFU when she starts trying to stir.
@Hooked , not a nice experience you have had. This is the only forum where I participate on, as in my eyes the people here are mature, and it is a give and take, people joke, but they take it as well.
Don't let 1 person spoil it for you, they are entitled to their opinions and can decide who to like or dislike and associate with, but you have the same right. Being straightforward can have its downside, but I always say and believe that the truth is the truth and stays that way, nothing can change that. Imho just keep on doing what you always did, it will bother them when they see that their rantings and threats have no impact on you, in other words, they are insignificant in your life.
Don't let 1 person spoil it for you, they are entitled to their opinions and can decide who to like or dislike and associate with, but you have the same right. Being straightforward can have its downside, but I always say and believe that the truth is the truth and stays that way, nothing can change that. Imho just keep on doing what you always did, it will bother them when they see that their rantings and threats have no impact on you, in other words, they are insignificant in your life.
@Hooked, maintaining the moral high ground may be easier said than done but is also exactly what this situation calls for. Do not change your behaviour towards anyone not even those that turn their back on you. People make up their own minds and if they notice your conduct contradicts the rumours being spread, it is not your reputation that will suffer.
From what you stated it also seems obvious that there is more behind these actions than a simple fb comment. Every action has a proportional reaction and these events do not add up. You are a strong self sufficient intelligent person and that does intimidate some people. Fear often presents itself as hate or anger.
In any case, not your monkeys, not your circus. This to will pass.
Regards
From what you stated it also seems obvious that there is more behind these actions than a simple fb comment. Every action has a proportional reaction and these events do not add up. You are a strong self sufficient intelligent person and that does intimidate some people. Fear often presents itself as hate or anger.
In any case, not your monkeys, not your circus. This to will pass.
Regards
@Hooked , I can semi relate to your story.
6 months into living in a new small also holiday area myself and my dad placed two youngsters under citizens arrest for poaching on our property, shooting under a spotlight without a permit and shooting with a rifle without the license holder being present.
Long story short, one guy gapped it and while we where searching for him the local authorities set up a roadblock and stopped another youngster under a different offense.
The next two weeks we fielded calls from 'concerned' fathers who threatened us with law suits for all sorts of differnt things.
We just stuck to our guns and carried on as usual.
The locals either supported us or despised us and at a time I actually worried about my safety.
End of the day it just makes life easier, you know who likes you and who not. It's kinda fizzled out and nobody gives a **** anymore and we all just moved on.
The readers digest version is: it sucks in the moment and you think the whole world hates you, reality is most people hear crap and just ignore it. The small people will believe the crap and in the long run everybody forgets about it.
Hold in there buddy
6 months into living in a new small also holiday area myself and my dad placed two youngsters under citizens arrest for poaching on our property, shooting under a spotlight without a permit and shooting with a rifle without the license holder being present.
Long story short, one guy gapped it and while we where searching for him the local authorities set up a roadblock and stopped another youngster under a different offense.
The next two weeks we fielded calls from 'concerned' fathers who threatened us with law suits for all sorts of differnt things.
We just stuck to our guns and carried on as usual.
The locals either supported us or despised us and at a time I actually worried about my safety.
End of the day it just makes life easier, you know who likes you and who not. It's kinda fizzled out and nobody gives a **** anymore and we all just moved on.
The readers digest version is: it sucks in the moment and you think the whole world hates you, reality is most people hear crap and just ignore it. The small people will believe the crap and in the long run everybody forgets about it.
Hold in there buddy
Sorry double post
Shame @Hooked, that is utter crap and so uncalled for, no-one wants, or deserves to, to be belittled and/or threatened!
What is the use of an opinion if you cannot voice it, especially if it is only meant well?
I am also opinionated, but it breaks one's spirit and tends to make one a hard person in the end, and I would rather avoid such situations altogether.
I feel like that on this forum (albeit not as big a toughie as yours) as well as some sad sacks really cannot let things go and move on, so I have learned to spend my time, and share my experiences and knowledge elsewhere rather.
What is the use of an opinion if you cannot voice it, especially if it is only meant well?
I am also opinionated, but it breaks one's spirit and tends to make one a hard person in the end, and I would rather avoid such situations altogether.
I feel like that on this forum (albeit not as big a toughie as yours) as well as some sad sacks really cannot let things go and move on, so I have learned to spend my time, and share my experiences and knowledge elsewhere rather.
Couldn't agree with you more! Some people just want to kick up poop over nothing. And while you may feel the need to defend yourself or correct them, at the end of the day, nine time out of ten the same people stirring are the ones that don't want an explanation, they want an argument. If you don't stoke the fire, then it will fizzle out a lot faster @Hooked
@Raindance Come to think of it, there IS "more behind these actions than a simple fb comment." The woman who is trying to get me out bakes doggy biscuits. Some time ago I bought a packet and both of my dogs threw up within an hour of eating a biscuit. I told her and she was rather annoyed and defensive.
So i wrote one of my CompTIA exams yesterday and passed by the skin of my teeth...
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So there you have it. Her cooking is so bad not even the dogs will eat it
@Hooked, am sorry to hear about this and how the one comment escalated to all of this.
I will say that from your involvement here on the forum I have found you to be polite, mature and kind. You always thank people for their advice and help. And you discuss topics with maturity and a good sense of humour.
Its strange how you saying that woman shouldnt start her post with "Hey julle" leads to all this. To me you are right and it seems her post should have started with something more respectful. But perhaps the haters saw it differently. Maybe they saw it that you didnt support this woman asking for a job. Maybe if you explained better what your intentions were it would have turned out different. And i can only assume you had good intentions and were trying to help.
Dont worry about it, whats done is done. It should pass if you dont stoke it further.
The online world can be a strange place at times. Its all good when one is making positive comments. But one has to be very careful when making negative comments and/or posting criticisms. Sometimes despite our best intentions it all goes wrong.
Indeed our loss @Caramia.
Congrats on the pass!!!
My father used to joke that any mark above the pass mark was a result of me being inefficient with my time.
I blame my mediocrity on him!
Hahahahaha thing is I'm better at practical stuff and the questions screwed me over...
Hopefully I'll do better with the software side
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Thanks, i have 7 more to go... Hopefully I'll do better on the software side..
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Well done @RainstormZA A pass is a pass, whether by the skin of your teeth or not!!
Is popular opinion the only opinion?
Hey guys, as a barber/hairdresser in a small/holiday town I am exposed to people from all walks of life, everything from the drug dependant homeless, free minded artists to self made millionaires
From a business perspective I need to be relatively thick skinned then it comes to clients views and opinions as it can effect my performance and the family business as a whole
The reality is that 9/10 clients dont give a shit about you, and thats perfectly ok, Im paid for my service/skill not my friendship
Its the 1/10 that are challenging, clients who become friends, largely because my "professional image" is not a mirror reflection of who I am (does that make sense?)
When asked personal questions regarding religion / politics / abortion ect. I fall out of my "zone" I can no longer concentrate on the task at hand, simply because I need to be careful of what I say as my opinion/view rarely align with the popular conservative opinion
Am I being over sensitive or does anyone share my position?
Love and peace
Hey guys, as a barber/hairdresser in a small/holiday town I am exposed to people from all walks of life, everything from the drug dependant homeless, free minded artists to self made millionaires
From a business perspective I need to be relatively thick skinned then it comes to clients views and opinions as it can effect my performance and the family business as a whole
The reality is that 9/10 clients dont give a shit about you, and thats perfectly ok, Im paid for my service/skill not my friendship
Its the 1/10 that are challenging, clients who become friends, largely because my "professional image" is not a mirror reflection of who I am (does that make sense?)
When asked personal questions regarding religion / politics / abortion ect. I fall out of my "zone" I can no longer concentrate on the task at hand, simply because I need to be careful of what I say as my opinion/view rarely align with the popular conservative opinion
Am I being over sensitive or does anyone share my position?
Love and peace
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I'm lucky that I don't have to be nice to anyone in my job (apart from my bosses, and I really push the envelope there). In my opinion, considering they're asking you at your work premises, unfortunately you're obliged to respond in a way that they want. Best thing to do is to tell them something along the lines of "I haven't given it much thought" or something along those lines and let them run with the conversation. You can never please everyone, and rather than go against what you might believe in, in this situation it is probably best to skirt the issue!
Thanks for the insight @Stosta
During my student life I found metal heads and nature management students to be amongst the most "real" people out there
Best regards
Stay away from Politics and Religion in any environment. It can only go wrong.
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