Right.
I watched another reel about South Africa’s proposed tobacco and vaping laws, and once again the internet did what the internet does best.
It found a serious issue, threw it into a blender with panic, added a dramatic voice-over, sprinkled on some jail-time seasoning, and served it to the public like breaking news.
So before everyone starts hiding their vape behind the toilet cistern, let us get one thing straight:
This Bill is not law yet.
It has moved forward, yes.
Parliament’s Portfolio Committee on Health adopted the motion of desirability, which means the Bill has passed an important stage and continues through the process.
That is serious.
That matters.
But it is not the same as saying the police are currently hiding behind every dustbin waiting to arrest you for taking a puff outside Spar.
So if a reel makes it sound like this is already law, that is sloppy.
But now let us not make the opposite mistake.
Because the Bill itself?
The Bill is a problem.
A proper, hoof-stomping, beard-twitching, gate-chewing problem.
And if it passes in a heavy-handed form, it will affect our way of life in a big way.
Not just smokers.
Not just vapers.
Not just vape shops.
Ordinary adults.
Businesses.
Restaurants.
Bars.
Workers.
Travellers.
Small traders.
Ex-smokers.
People trying to stay away from cigarettes.
People who thought they were still allowed to make adult choices without government standing behind them with a clipboard and a naughty chair.
That is what we are talking about.
And this is where the Old Goat starts grumbling.
Because once again, vaping is being shoved into the same sack as smoking and beaten with the same stick.
Cigarettes?
Vapes?
Disposables?
Refillable devices?
Nicotine?
Zero nicotine?
Adult ex-smoker?
Teenager with a neon disposable?
Big Tobacco?
Small independent vape shop?
Cowboy seller?
DIY mixer?
All into the same sack.
Whack.
Public health.
Whack.
Think of the children.
Whack.
More control.
Whack.
More penalties.
And then we are all supposed to stand there and clap like trained seals because the government said the magic words.
No.
Sorry.
The Old Goat is not clapping.
Smoking and vaping are not the same thing.
A cigarette is combustion.
Fire.
Tar.
Carbon monoxide.
Smoke.
The old killer we have known about for decades.
Vaping is not harmless, but it is not combustion. It is not a cigarette. It is not the same product, the same risk, the same behaviour, or the same harm-reduction conversation.
If your law cannot tell the difference between a burning cigarette and a refillable vape used by an adult ex-smoker, then your law needs glasses.
Or maybe a shovel.
Because it is already digging the wrong hole.
Now, let us talk about this jail-time business.
The reel mentioned jail time for people vaping in public.
That is not completely invented.
The proposed Bill does include criminal penalties for contravening certain restrictions. Depending on the offence, the penalties can include fines and imprisonment.
So yes, the words are in there.
And that should make people sit up.
But again, context matters.
It is proposed legislation.
It is not in force yet.
And that is exactly why now is the time to shout, not later when some poor oke is standing there wondering how his adult nicotine habit got turned into a criminal issue.
Because this is how bad law creeps in.
First it is “just regulation.”
Then it is “just public spaces.”
Then it is “just penalties.”
Then it is “just enforcement.”
Then one day adults wake up and realise the state has quietly put a leash on another part of everyday life.
And everyone who complained early was called dramatic.
Well, fine.
Call me dramatic.
I have horns. I will survive.
But do not pretend this is small.
The Bill is not just about whether you can smoke in a restaurant.
It is about how far the state gets to reach into public life, private spaces, business operations, retail displays, adult choices, and harm-reduction options.
It is about whether vaping gets regulated with intelligence or punished with laziness.
It is about whether adult smokers are given a real off-ramp from cigarettes, or whether they are shoved back toward the one legal product everyone agrees is deadly.
That is the part that makes my beard itch.
Because the cigarette somehow always survives.
The cigarette sits there on the shelf like an old murderer in a clean shirt.
Legal.
Known.
Taxed.
Available.
But the vape?
The product many adult smokers used to escape the cigarette?
That gets dragged into the town square and treated like the new devil.
And if you dare say, “Hold on, maybe these products should not be treated exactly the same,” someone immediately starts shouting about kids.
So let us deal with that now.
Kids should not vape.
Non-smokers should not vape.
Teenagers should not be hooked on nicotine.
Disposable junk marketed like sweets is a problem.
Shops selling to minors should be hammered.
Cowboy sellers should be hammered.
Big Tobacco should never be trusted to babysit a goldfish, never mind public health.
There.
That is the responsible bit.
Now stop using children as a human shield for lazy lawmaking.
Protecting kids does not require treating every adult vaper like a naughty schoolboy.
Protecting kids does not require pretending an ex-smoker on 3 mg freebase is the same as a Grade 9 with a disposable in the toilet.
Protecting kids does not require killing harm reduction.
It requires enforcement.
Age checks.
Retail accountability.
Product standards.
Proper labelling.
No sales to minors.
No cartoon nonsense.
No black-market rubbish.
No dodgy disposables sold out of someone’s boot.
Do the actual work.
But governments hate actual work.
Actual work is hard.
Blanket restrictions are easier.
Broad definitions are easier.
Big penalties are easier.
Saying “public health” into a microphone is easier.
And once the machine starts rolling, ordinary people are expected to move out of the way.
That is why this Bill worries me.
Not because regulation is bad.
Regulation is needed.
The Wild West is not good for anyone except cowboys.
But regulation should be smart.
This looks like the usual government special:
Too broad.
Too blunt.
Too proud of itself.
Too comfortable treating adults like children.
Too willing to flatten smoking and vaping into one ugly blob.
And too happy to let criminal penalties sit in the background like a big stick.
That is not harm reduction.
That is control with a health warning sticker.
And let us talk about lifestyle, because this is where people only wake up when it is too late.
If this passes badly, it changes how people socialise.
It changes bars and restaurants.
It changes smoking areas.
It changes how venues manage adult customers.
It changes how vapers are treated in public.
It changes how small businesses display and sell products.
It changes how adult smokers find alternatives.
It changes whether responsible vape shops can compete while black-market sellers laugh from the shadows.
It changes how much room adults have left before the state starts wagging a finger in their face.
And yes, some people will say:
“Good. Smoking and vaping are disgusting. Ban it everywhere.”
Fine.
You do not like it.
Do not smoke.
Do not vape.
Do not go stand in the smoking area.
But your dislike is not automatically a law.
That is the little detail people keep forgetting.
A free society is not built around banning every adult behaviour that annoys someone else.
Especially not when the law cannot tell the difference between the most harmful product and a lower-risk alternative.
Because here is the uncomfortable truth:
If you make vaping harder, more criminalised, more hidden, and more stigmatised, while cigarettes remain legal and easy to buy, you are not magically creating a healthier country.
You may just be protecting the cigarette.
You may just be feeding the black market.
You may just be punishing the people who were trying to move away from combustion.
And then, when it fails, the same people will ask for even more control.
That is how the wheel turns.
Ban harder.
Punish harder.
Regulate broader.
Blame the product.
Ignore the consequences.
Call it public health.
No.
The Old Goat is not buying it.
South Africa needs sensible regulation.
It needs proper age enforcement.
It needs product standards.
It needs action against youth vaping.
It needs accountability for sellers.
It needs to stop the flood of disposable rubbish.
It needs to keep nicotine products away from children.
But it does not need lazy laws that treat vaping like smoking, adult harm reduction like a crime, and public life like a classroom full of naughty children.
And it definitely does not need influencers making panic reels without explaining what is law, what is proposed, and what is still being fought over.
So here is the verdict.
The reel is sloppy if it makes people think this is already law.
But the Bill itself is absolutely worth getting angry about.
Because if it passes without serious correction, it will not just regulate products.
It will regulate behaviour.
It will regulate spaces.
It will regulate businesses.
It will regulate adult choice.
It will shove vaping and smoking into the same cage and then act surprised when the cigarette still walks out smiling.
That is the real grumble.
Not that there are rules.
Rules can be good.
The grumble is that the people writing these rules seem determined to use a hammer where a scalpel is needed.
And when government uses a hammer, ordinary people are usually the nail.
The Vape Workshop is not scared of regulation.
We are scared of stupid regulation.
We are scared of bad law written by people who cannot tell smoke from vapour.
We are scared of public health being used as a blank cheque for control.
And we are very, very tired of watching the cigarette keep its chair while vaping gets dragged to court.
If you care about adult choice, harm reduction, small business, and laws that actually make sense, now is not the time to shrug.
Now is the time to make noise.
Because once the leash is on, do not act surprised when they start pulling.
I watched another reel about South Africa’s proposed tobacco and vaping laws, and once again the internet did what the internet does best.
It found a serious issue, threw it into a blender with panic, added a dramatic voice-over, sprinkled on some jail-time seasoning, and served it to the public like breaking news.
So before everyone starts hiding their vape behind the toilet cistern, let us get one thing straight:
This Bill is not law yet.
It has moved forward, yes.
Parliament’s Portfolio Committee on Health adopted the motion of desirability, which means the Bill has passed an important stage and continues through the process.
That is serious.
That matters.
But it is not the same as saying the police are currently hiding behind every dustbin waiting to arrest you for taking a puff outside Spar.
So if a reel makes it sound like this is already law, that is sloppy.
But now let us not make the opposite mistake.
Because the Bill itself?
The Bill is a problem.
A proper, hoof-stomping, beard-twitching, gate-chewing problem.
And if it passes in a heavy-handed form, it will affect our way of life in a big way.
Not just smokers.
Not just vapers.
Not just vape shops.
Ordinary adults.
Businesses.
Restaurants.
Bars.
Workers.
Travellers.
Small traders.
Ex-smokers.
People trying to stay away from cigarettes.
People who thought they were still allowed to make adult choices without government standing behind them with a clipboard and a naughty chair.
That is what we are talking about.
And this is where the Old Goat starts grumbling.
Because once again, vaping is being shoved into the same sack as smoking and beaten with the same stick.
Cigarettes?
Vapes?
Disposables?
Refillable devices?
Nicotine?
Zero nicotine?
Adult ex-smoker?
Teenager with a neon disposable?
Big Tobacco?
Small independent vape shop?
Cowboy seller?
DIY mixer?
All into the same sack.
Whack.
Public health.
Whack.
Think of the children.
Whack.
More control.
Whack.
More penalties.
And then we are all supposed to stand there and clap like trained seals because the government said the magic words.
No.
Sorry.
The Old Goat is not clapping.
Smoking and vaping are not the same thing.
A cigarette is combustion.
Fire.
Tar.
Carbon monoxide.
Smoke.
The old killer we have known about for decades.
Vaping is not harmless, but it is not combustion. It is not a cigarette. It is not the same product, the same risk, the same behaviour, or the same harm-reduction conversation.
If your law cannot tell the difference between a burning cigarette and a refillable vape used by an adult ex-smoker, then your law needs glasses.
Or maybe a shovel.
Because it is already digging the wrong hole.
Now, let us talk about this jail-time business.
The reel mentioned jail time for people vaping in public.
That is not completely invented.
The proposed Bill does include criminal penalties for contravening certain restrictions. Depending on the offence, the penalties can include fines and imprisonment.
So yes, the words are in there.
And that should make people sit up.
But again, context matters.
It is proposed legislation.
It is not in force yet.
And that is exactly why now is the time to shout, not later when some poor oke is standing there wondering how his adult nicotine habit got turned into a criminal issue.
Because this is how bad law creeps in.
First it is “just regulation.”
Then it is “just public spaces.”
Then it is “just penalties.”
Then it is “just enforcement.”
Then one day adults wake up and realise the state has quietly put a leash on another part of everyday life.
And everyone who complained early was called dramatic.
Well, fine.
Call me dramatic.
I have horns. I will survive.
But do not pretend this is small.
The Bill is not just about whether you can smoke in a restaurant.
It is about how far the state gets to reach into public life, private spaces, business operations, retail displays, adult choices, and harm-reduction options.
It is about whether vaping gets regulated with intelligence or punished with laziness.
It is about whether adult smokers are given a real off-ramp from cigarettes, or whether they are shoved back toward the one legal product everyone agrees is deadly.
That is the part that makes my beard itch.
Because the cigarette somehow always survives.
The cigarette sits there on the shelf like an old murderer in a clean shirt.
Legal.
Known.
Taxed.
Available.
But the vape?
The product many adult smokers used to escape the cigarette?
That gets dragged into the town square and treated like the new devil.
And if you dare say, “Hold on, maybe these products should not be treated exactly the same,” someone immediately starts shouting about kids.
So let us deal with that now.
Kids should not vape.
Non-smokers should not vape.
Teenagers should not be hooked on nicotine.
Disposable junk marketed like sweets is a problem.
Shops selling to minors should be hammered.
Cowboy sellers should be hammered.
Big Tobacco should never be trusted to babysit a goldfish, never mind public health.
There.
That is the responsible bit.
Now stop using children as a human shield for lazy lawmaking.
Protecting kids does not require treating every adult vaper like a naughty schoolboy.
Protecting kids does not require pretending an ex-smoker on 3 mg freebase is the same as a Grade 9 with a disposable in the toilet.
Protecting kids does not require killing harm reduction.
It requires enforcement.
Age checks.
Retail accountability.
Product standards.
Proper labelling.
No sales to minors.
No cartoon nonsense.
No black-market rubbish.
No dodgy disposables sold out of someone’s boot.
Do the actual work.
But governments hate actual work.
Actual work is hard.
Blanket restrictions are easier.
Broad definitions are easier.
Big penalties are easier.
Saying “public health” into a microphone is easier.
And once the machine starts rolling, ordinary people are expected to move out of the way.
That is why this Bill worries me.
Not because regulation is bad.
Regulation is needed.
The Wild West is not good for anyone except cowboys.
But regulation should be smart.
This looks like the usual government special:
Too broad.
Too blunt.
Too proud of itself.
Too comfortable treating adults like children.
Too willing to flatten smoking and vaping into one ugly blob.
And too happy to let criminal penalties sit in the background like a big stick.
That is not harm reduction.
That is control with a health warning sticker.
And let us talk about lifestyle, because this is where people only wake up when it is too late.
If this passes badly, it changes how people socialise.
It changes bars and restaurants.
It changes smoking areas.
It changes how venues manage adult customers.
It changes how vapers are treated in public.
It changes how small businesses display and sell products.
It changes how adult smokers find alternatives.
It changes whether responsible vape shops can compete while black-market sellers laugh from the shadows.
It changes how much room adults have left before the state starts wagging a finger in their face.
And yes, some people will say:
“Good. Smoking and vaping are disgusting. Ban it everywhere.”
Fine.
You do not like it.
Do not smoke.
Do not vape.
Do not go stand in the smoking area.
But your dislike is not automatically a law.
That is the little detail people keep forgetting.
A free society is not built around banning every adult behaviour that annoys someone else.
Especially not when the law cannot tell the difference between the most harmful product and a lower-risk alternative.
Because here is the uncomfortable truth:
If you make vaping harder, more criminalised, more hidden, and more stigmatised, while cigarettes remain legal and easy to buy, you are not magically creating a healthier country.
You may just be protecting the cigarette.
You may just be feeding the black market.
You may just be punishing the people who were trying to move away from combustion.
And then, when it fails, the same people will ask for even more control.
That is how the wheel turns.
Ban harder.
Punish harder.
Regulate broader.
Blame the product.
Ignore the consequences.
Call it public health.
No.
The Old Goat is not buying it.
South Africa needs sensible regulation.
It needs proper age enforcement.
It needs product standards.
It needs action against youth vaping.
It needs accountability for sellers.
It needs to stop the flood of disposable rubbish.
It needs to keep nicotine products away from children.
But it does not need lazy laws that treat vaping like smoking, adult harm reduction like a crime, and public life like a classroom full of naughty children.
And it definitely does not need influencers making panic reels without explaining what is law, what is proposed, and what is still being fought over.
So here is the verdict.
The reel is sloppy if it makes people think this is already law.
But the Bill itself is absolutely worth getting angry about.
Because if it passes without serious correction, it will not just regulate products.
It will regulate behaviour.
It will regulate spaces.
It will regulate businesses.
It will regulate adult choice.
It will shove vaping and smoking into the same cage and then act surprised when the cigarette still walks out smiling.
That is the real grumble.
Not that there are rules.
Rules can be good.
The grumble is that the people writing these rules seem determined to use a hammer where a scalpel is needed.
And when government uses a hammer, ordinary people are usually the nail.
The Vape Workshop is not scared of regulation.
We are scared of stupid regulation.
We are scared of bad law written by people who cannot tell smoke from vapour.
We are scared of public health being used as a blank cheque for control.
And we are very, very tired of watching the cigarette keep its chair while vaping gets dragged to court.
If you care about adult choice, harm reduction, small business, and laws that actually make sense, now is not the time to shrug.
Now is the time to make noise.
Because once the leash is on, do not act surprised when they start pulling.
