Becoming a successful raconteur is a question of verbal ingenuity, a talent for the theatrical… and vapour.
This is something I learned from three immensely talented individuals: Herman Charles Bosman, Patrick Mynhardt and a sure-footed individual by the name of Jake Klipspringer. If you want to tell a story to optimum effect, you must know the precise moment to pause. And when this precise moment arrives, you must let your silence do the talking… preferably for no less than one and a half minutes. Next you must clear out your old meerschaum pipe by knocking it out methodically on the heel of your hobnailed boot. And then you must clear out the old throat, you know – with a HACKER-HACKER-HACK-HIC-HAK-HOC-HOODIE-DOODIE-HAK-HAK-HAK. Don’t hold back, my friend. Project your cough as if your life depended on it: there is no advantage in being a tentative cougher.
You have to know exactly when to suspend your prolonged monologue – and when to initiate another conspicuous diversion: such as, for instance, trying to build a complicated pyramid out of a collection of matchsticks and then purposefully scattering them all over the place – accidentally on purpose – as if you were Helen Keller trying to operate a jackhammer in a public library. (I’ll get to the subject of actual smoking a bit later on, so please bear with me.)
Read more here: https://www.throatpunch.co.za/blogs/foggin-lovely/vapour-and-mirrors
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