Dirty Lol's Thread
- Thread starter Gizmo
- Start date
if to rude remove 
if to rude remove
hahaha Best thing iv seen in a whileSent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
My brother in JHB just sent it to me a few minutes ago.
Definitely a classic
.
It took me almost 3 days from the first time I saw this joke to catch it.
In my defense, I'm a joburger, born bred and buttered
need a ''barf'' emoji in the line-up !!
Mom can i buy some heels? No.
Mom can i buy a bra? No.
Mom can i buy a dress? No.
Mom can i buy a barbie doll? No.
You never let me buy anything!
Shut up, Justin.
Mom can i buy a bra? No.
Mom can i buy a dress? No.
Mom can i buy a barbie doll? No.
You never let me buy anything!
Shut up, Justin.
last one before bed ...Koos walked into a bar and says to the bartender '' 6 shots of whiskey''. The bartender asks, "What's the matter?" Koos says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend." The next day Koos comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey. The bartenders asks, "What's wrong this time?" Koos says, "I found out that my son is gay." The next day he orders 18 shots of whiskey. Then the bartender asks, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?" Koos looks up and says, "Apparently my wife does."
After giving birth, I quit my job. The exit questionnaire asked, "What steps would have prevented you from leaving?" My answer:
"Birth control."
"Birth control."
Little Johnny walks into his parent's bedroom and sees Dad sliding on a condom. His father tries to hide it by bending over, as if to look under the bed. Little Johnny asks curiously, "What are you doing, Dad?" His father quickly replies, "I thought I saw a mouse go underneath the bed." Little Johnny replies, "What are you gonna do -- screw him?"
After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds,
"No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts."
"No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts."
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.
“Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says,
“Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.”
The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”
“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
“Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says,
“Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.”
The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”
“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
A guy decides to do something nice for his girlfriend before they leave on vacation so he gets her name tattooed on his penis. He comes home and shows it to her. She looks at it and says, "That's great, sweetie, but what is 'Wy'?" He tells her to rub it and as she does she sees it actually reads....
"Wendy."
When they arrive at Montego Bay, the couple are walking along a nude beach and the boyfriend notices a black guy with "Wy" on his penis.
He asks the man if he also has a girlfriend named Wendy. The black guy laughs and says,
"Nah, mon, mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day.'"
"Wendy."
When they arrive at Montego Bay, the couple are walking along a nude beach and the boyfriend notices a black guy with "Wy" on his penis.
He asks the man if he also has a girlfriend named Wendy. The black guy laughs and says,
"Nah, mon, mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day.'"
Q: What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
A: "Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob."
A: "Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob."
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong ...
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant...
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