#ITSOKAYTOTALK - Mental Illness

Just checking in... I reside in Paulshof/Bryanston if anyone needs a chat/friend/company. My number is 0833079085. Please WhatsApp first so I know who you are. Don't be shy, I might not be able to give advice to your unique situation but I am able te be a friend to talk to should you need someone to listen.
 
Just checking in... I reside in Paulshof/Bryanston if anyone needs a chat/friend/company. My number is 0833079085. Please WhatsApp first so I know who you are. Don't be shy, I might not be able to give advice to your unique situation but I am able te be a friend to talk to should you need someone to listen.

Thanks for the check in Jaco :wink: There is also a WhatsApp group that anyone can make use of if they want to share, reach out, talk, etc.
 
Now we wait... Took a huge gamble earlier today. Praying that it pays off. How is everyone doing?
 
Well, my gamble didn't pay off, but life goes on. Time to focus on other things and people.
 
Recently had a CT scan -scary , but results negative still suffering insomnia/nightmares. Bloodworks came back ,no funny stuff only hyper thyroid [causing my massive weight loss 92 to 63!!]-seeing endocronologist Tuesday. So far JHB GEN did a good job, also seeing occupational therapist and my psyc.
Take care fellows .
A.
 
Saw endocronologist today -massive doses of Neo Mercazol ! Scan due for Friday . I am scared , no conclusive answer from Psyc yet . Will see him in 2 weeks time.
 
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Saw endocronologist today -massive doses of Neo Mercazol ! Scan due for Friday . I am scared , no conclusive answer from Psyc yet . Will see him in 2 weeks time.
Hang in there @ARYANTO , and don’t be scared of anything until it’s proven to be. Then forget scared and fix and fight it, whatever it may be. We are all rooting for you, you’ll never be alone on the way you have to travel.
 
Giving up on life Dr Leach
The five stages of give-up-are: -Social withdrawal. This usually occurs after a psychological trauma. Signs include a marked withdrawal, a lack of emotion, indifference and becoming self-absorbed -Apathy. This is described as an emotional or symbolic ‘death'. It is different to anger, sadness and frustration and involves a person no longer striving for self-preservation. People in this stage are often dishevelled as their instinct for cleanliness is gone -Aboulia. This is a severe lack of motivation along with a dampened emotional response, a lack of initiative and indecisiveness. People in this stage rarely speak, often stop washing and eating, and withdraw even further. They have lost intrinsic motivation - the ability or desire to help themselves -Psychic akinesia. This refers to a further drop in motivation. The person is conscious but in a state of profound apathy and unaware of, or insensitive to, even extreme pain. In fact, they may not even flinch if they are hit. They are often incontinent at this stage -Psychogenic death. According to Dr Leach, this stage is the disintegration of a person. "It's when someone then gives up. They might be lying in their own excreta and nothing - no warning, no beating, no pleading - can make them want to live," he said. He noted that the progress from stage four to five generally takes three to four days, and often, just before death, there is a ‘false dawn' - a flicker of life from the person, for example, they may decide to smoke a cigarette. "It appears briefly as if the 'empty mind' stage has passed and has been replaced by what could be described as goal-directed behaviour. But the paradox is that while a flicker of goal-directed function exist, people can die if they give up on life , the goal itself appears to have become relinquishing life.
c - DR LEACH.
 
OM WhaTEVER , CAN I DESCRIBE THE DARKNESS IN MY HEART / SOUL , JUMPING IS TOO SMALL , DROPPING FROM A CLIFF .. NOT
GOOD ENOUGH , HANGING FROM A POST/POLE ...
DEPRESSION YOU ARE A ***** OF MANY COLOURS . fXXK FOLKS IS IT THE TABLETS OR JUST MY F/UPPED MIND?
Do so many people haTE ME that their venom converged to destroy me ? IS /ARE LIFE A VIPER THAt JUST STrIKS ANS STRIKES TILL THERE is nothing left of this morally unsound person ---guys I AM TOTALLY F.UPPED . IF I HAD SOMETHING TO TAKE I WOULD .. I FEEL DEAD.
 
Just checking in... I reside in Paulshof/Bryanston if anyone needs a chat/friend/company. My number is 0833079085. Please WhatsApp first so I know who you are. Don't be shy, I might not be able to give advice to your unique situation but I am able to be a friend to talk to should you need someone to listen.
jb i suffer from sxhit that happened in the army and went away ,till i had a huge bike accident in 2016 then my sis comited suicide , my eldest sister die due of medical treatment my mom died last year and i've been coping but tonight the sxit hit the fan , i am so so so depressed , and drinking beer after beer does not encourage the situation .. fuk lord give mercy , i must be invisible , not dead but trying to shelter the pain . tnx
 
Just checking in... I reside in Paulshof/Bryanston if anyone needs a chat/friend/company. My number is 0833079085. Please WhatsApp first so I know who you are. Don't be shy, I might not be able to give advice to your unique situation but I am able te be a friend to talk to should you need someone to listen.
tried but ...
 
I don't really know what to say, or if there is even anything I could say that would make a difference, but somehow I just felt like I needed to let you know that if there was, I would say it.

I am sorry for what you are going through.
 
I don't really know what to say, or if there is even anything I could say that would make a difference, but somehow I just felt like I needed to let you know that if there was, I would say it.

I am sorry for what you are going through.
BRO YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE FKN VOICES it is the worst , telling me . go for it , join me . i need you . i livgi in fkn black syrup , going to have anothr beer . I HATE THE W\AY I FEEL
 
BRO YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE FKN VOICES it is the worst , telling me . go for it , join me . i need you . i livgi in fkn black syrup , going to have anothr beer . I HATE THE W\AY I FEEL
Hi @ARYANTO , most of us can only try to imagine and sympathize with what you are experiencing now, but never know how it truly feels, only you will. All that I, and I’m sure a lot of others can do is to keep you in our minds, our hearts as a brother in arms, and in our prayers.

May the light of life shine brightly on you and light the path you have to walk bud, and even if it is just a flicker and you do stumble a bit in the dark, we are there for you. Listen to our voices saying grab the hand, lift yourself up with all our help, bring joy to us as you have been doing since we have had the pleasure of making your acquaintance, even though we may never had met.

We’re here for you. PM incoming from my side as well.
 
jb i suffer from sxhit that happened in the army and went away ,till i had a huge bike accident in 2016 then my sis comited suicide , my eldest sister die due of medical treatment my mom died last year and i've been coping but tonight the sxit hit the fan , i am so so so depressed , and drinking beer after beer does not encourage the situation .. fuk lord give mercy , i must be invisible , not dead but trying to shelter the pain . tnx

I'm so sorry @ARYANTO , I only saw this now.
 
Im not looking for a reply. I just need to get this out. Friday morning on my way to work, a car going opposite direction hit a pedestrian who was standing in the road. The man went tumbeling through the air and hit my car. I drove over him. I was next to him when he exhaled his final breath with his questioning fearful eyes. The car which hit him 1st drove away like a coward.
I know it was not my fault, but i stood by him while he died. I know my car delt the final blow to his life. How do live with myself? What about his kids? Why wasnt it me instead? How can i live myself that i took a life of a pontential awesome dad. Ive been crying since the day he passed, but no amount of tears ive cried will match the tears that comes across his childrens' cheeks, they are gutted with hate and sadness
Dont think i wil ever be able to live with myself
 
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Im not looking for a reply. I just need to get this out. Friday morning on my way to work, a car going opposite direction hit a pedestrian who was standing in the road. The man went tumbeling through the air and hit my car. I drove over him. I was next to him when he exhaled his final breath with his questioning fearful eyes. The car which hit him 1st drove away like a coward.
I know it was not my fault, but i stood by him while he died. I know my car delt the final blow to his life. How do live with myself? What about his kids? Why wasnt it me instead? How can i live myself that i took a life of a pontential awesome dad. Ive been crying since the day he passed, but no amount of tears ive cried will match the tears that comes across his childrens' cheeks, they are gutted with hate and sadness
Dont think i wil ever be able to live with myself
A terrible experience to have to go trough @SmokeyJoe , stay strong meneer, you will be in our thoughts.
 
Saw endocronologist today -massive doses of Neo Mercazol ! Scan due for Friday . I am scared , no conclusive answer from Psyc yet . Will see him in 2 weeks time.

Some good news! Good luck with the rest! I see that you have had a tough time of late, I hope that things get better for you, carry on the fight as it is worth it! I will try and be around here more often if anyone needs to vent...
 
Im not looking for a reply. I just need to get this out. Friday morning on my way to work, a car going opposite direction hit a pedestrian who was standing in the road. The man went tumbeling through the air and hit my car. I drove over him. I was next to him when he exhaled his final breath with his questioning fearful eyes. The car which hit him 1st drove away like a coward.
I know it was not my fault, but i stood by him while he died. I know my car delt the final blow to his life. How do live with myself? What about his kids? Why wasnt it me instead? How can i live myself that i took a life of a pontential awesome dad. Ive been crying since the day he passed, but no amount of tears ive cried will match the tears that comes across his childrens' cheeks, they are gutted with hate and sadness
Dont think i wil ever be able to live with myself

That is a horrible situation to be put in but it is not your fault at all. Take your time, you will soon accept that there isn't much you could have done, other than what you did to stick by his side.
 
Check in time, how is everyone?

I have been OK, a few anxiety attacks lately, caused by exhaustion I think as I did my first mountain bike race in years a few weekends back and then had a few too many whiskies this last Saturday evening which wrote Sunday off for me completely. It has affected me for a few days now, I am not as young as I used to be and it takes me longer than it used to to bounce back from a lack of sleep or heavy night out. As much as I have learnt that I need to take care of myself as much as possible I am learning that when I get it wrong to not beat myself up too much about it, as I normally do. One day at a time...
 
Just returned from psyc . Need to go once a month , increased my Epitec to 100 mg, and gave me some sleeping tabs, as
well as some Citalopram 10 mg [anti depressant] that I've been on for a while now. Generally I'm feeling better and are picking up weight slowly [yay].
 
Great news from both of you! @Neuk , when the whiskers start turning grey everything takes a bit longer, :D but we become wiser. Hopefully some relaxing will solve the anxiety, and being in the outdoors on a bike can only be a good thing. @ARYANTO , here’s to you gaining back that weight you lost, and to feeling better and conquering those speedbumps in front of you, one at a time.

As you said rightly @Neuk , one day at a time!
 
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