This is most likely a build up of toxins from the ciggies. When you stop the body flushes itself of toxins. It is well known that smoking ages the skin. Nicotine in itself is a toxin in the quantities we consume it.
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Wish I had more energy to vent a bit, but suffice it to say I'm having a k@k time of it lately. Having an especially trying evening. Thank goodness I don't have stinkies in the home, but I almost bought some earlier. Those little Moods cigarillos. They seemed so tempting.
Hopefully tomorrow will allow more time to expand on what's been happening
Hopefully tomorrow will allow more time to expand on what's been happening
Just the fact that you did not buy it is a win! Hang in there! And vent if you need to vent, get it out of your system! You smoked longer than you vaped, it will take time to get it all out of your system and finding a rhythm again.
Okay, update time. Been a really hard week for me. Well, actually a hard few weeks with my mental illness rearing it's ugly head, but at least I get to see my psychiatrist on the 10th. I just have no energy and even dream about sleeping while I'm sleeping 
Whereas I used to burn the midnight oil just a few short weeks back.
Also, been struggling to get rodents to feed my snakes. I usually buy frozen from a guy in Jhb and just thaw out what I need. He didn't have stock for me, and a few other suppliers all gave me the runaround for some reason. Ended up paying a fortune for one feeding at a local petstore. Then I had all the issues with my Expromizer V4 to boot. Thanks to @Dela Rey Steyn sending me an extra deck and @Befo5 letting me test before I buy I now have two working V4's at least.
Finally got a call from my rodent supplier letting me know he can help me out, but with smaller sizes, Which meant a bigger order and more money... Now, we usually meet at a petrol station and we do the exchange after I've EFT'd him beforehand. This time he forgot I was coming through (in a few hours, how hard can it be to remember an appointment for 3 hours). Anyway, it led him to ask me to swing by his place to pick up as he was preparing dinner. Now, I'm not that materialistic, but damn I hate that neighborhood! Felt criminal to drive my old Chevy Spark through that posh neighborhood. Got me right depressed that there are people with that kind of money while 80% of the country is starving. Now I know to a lot of people I seem like a person of means as well, but holy hell, some of those drive-way entrances have more expensive tiles that my whole little townhouse put together! Which is what lead to me almost buying a pack of Moods cigarillos.
Anyway, moving on from my jealousy... Got home and the order was incomplete. Even though I had paid for everything the day before. Just got an "oops sorry, they are still sitting in my freezer". The ones I did get wasn't even fully frozen and not packaged nearly as well as always. Got me right pissed off.
Today was also especially hard on me. Well, since the 1st actually. On May 1st 27 years ago my hero, Ayrton Senna died. Today a pet store owner picked up my big snake rack and quite a few snakes. In a manic period in 2018 I bought a snake rack to the value of R12k and a lot of ball pythons. Largely thinking I was never going to get a wife anyway. This ended with half my lounge suite in the garage and very tight living space. Got so bad that I was ashamed to invite anyone over because I only had a couch and one chair in the living room. Been searching for buyers who would be willing to buy the rack from me. Hell, I even offered it to some people for R3k, which is what I still owed on the rack. (Yeah, my dumbass was still paying off for my bad decision).
I didn't research what the snakes were worth on their own, and found a buyer a lot faster than expected after reaching out to a family member who has a pet store. Now I'm not good at making prices anyway, so I ended up selling a R12k rack and 7 ball pythons for only R5k. Feel a little silly that I didn't prepare an asking price better, but there is also the possibility that my mom will have to move in with me in future due to her poor health.
So I needed to keep that in mind as the spare bedroom also has a snake rack and my PC occupying it. I know snakes are not like dogs etc. but I still miss them terribly and wonder if I did the right thing.
Next up I have to research prices on air rifles and sell off some of the 7 I have (also bought while manic). I certainly don't use or need that many.
Then on to work... We have a big statutory shutdown coming up and my senior whom I look up to and who always gives me great advice is off sick with a back injury. Going to be tough going and I'll need a few tranquilizers to get through that. Don't want to get into too many details on this as the wrong people might read it.
On a positive note though, tonight as I was craving a stinkie like never before, I noticed a neat little whole burned into my sweatpants that double as pajamas from when I was still smoking. So that helped with the craving.
I guess I should just be thankful for what I have and keep my chin up and keep trying to fight the good fight. Still cheating with the IQOS, but enjoying it less and less. Have to put that in the pros column.
Sorry for the long post, and yes, I do realize that a lot of this has nothing to do with my quitting smoking, but I needed to let it out.
Whereas I used to burn the midnight oil just a few short weeks back.
Also, been struggling to get rodents to feed my snakes. I usually buy frozen from a guy in Jhb and just thaw out what I need. He didn't have stock for me, and a few other suppliers all gave me the runaround for some reason. Ended up paying a fortune for one feeding at a local petstore. Then I had all the issues with my Expromizer V4 to boot. Thanks to @Dela Rey Steyn sending me an extra deck and @Befo5 letting me test before I buy I now have two working V4's at least.
Finally got a call from my rodent supplier letting me know he can help me out, but with smaller sizes, Which meant a bigger order and more money... Now, we usually meet at a petrol station and we do the exchange after I've EFT'd him beforehand. This time he forgot I was coming through (in a few hours, how hard can it be to remember an appointment for 3 hours
). Anyway, it led him to ask me to swing by his place to pick up as he was preparing dinner. Now, I'm not that materialistic, but damn I hate that neighborhood! Felt criminal to drive my old Chevy Spark through that posh neighborhood. Got me right depressed that there are people with that kind of money while 80% of the country is starving. Now I know to a lot of people I seem like a person of means as well, but holy hell, some of those drive-way entrances have more expensive tiles that my whole little townhouse put together! Which is what lead to me almost buying a pack of Moods cigarillos. Anyway, moving on from my jealousy... Got home and the order was incomplete. Even though I had paid for everything the day before. Just got an "oops sorry, they are still sitting in my freezer". The ones I did get wasn't even fully frozen and not packaged nearly as well as always. Got me right pissed off.
Today was also especially hard on me. Well, since the 1st actually. On May 1st 27 years ago my hero, Ayrton Senna died. Today a pet store owner picked up my big snake rack and quite a few snakes. In a manic period in 2018 I bought a snake rack to the value of R12k and a lot of ball pythons. Largely thinking I was never going to get a wife anyway. This ended with half my lounge suite in the garage and very tight living space. Got so bad that I was ashamed to invite anyone over because I only had a couch and one chair in the living room. Been searching for buyers who would be willing to buy the rack from me. Hell, I even offered it to some people for R3k, which is what I still owed on the rack. (Yeah, my dumbass was still paying off for my bad decision).
I didn't research what the snakes were worth on their own, and found a buyer a lot faster than expected after reaching out to a family member who has a pet store. Now I'm not good at making prices anyway, so I ended up selling a R12k rack and 7 ball pythons for only R5k. Feel a little silly that I didn't prepare an asking price better, but there is also the possibility that my mom will have to move in with me in future due to her poor health.
So I needed to keep that in mind as the spare bedroom also has a snake rack and my PC occupying it. I know snakes are not like dogs etc. but I still miss them terribly and wonder if I did the right thing.
Next up I have to research prices on air rifles and sell off some of the 7 I have (also bought while manic
). I certainly don't use or need that many.Then on to work... We have a big statutory shutdown coming up and my senior whom I look up to and who always gives me great advice is off sick with a back injury. Going to be tough going and I'll need a few tranquilizers to get through that. Don't want to get into too many details on this as the wrong people might read it.
On a positive note though, tonight as I was craving a stinkie like never before, I noticed a neat little whole burned into my sweatpants that double as pajamas from when I was still smoking. So that helped with the craving.
I guess I should just be thankful for what I have and keep my chin up and keep trying to fight the good fight. Still cheating with the IQOS, but enjoying it less and less. Have to put that in the pros column.
Sorry for the long post, and yes, I do realize that a lot of this has nothing to do with my quitting smoking, but I needed to let it out.
Sometimes writing it and getting it out lifts an unimaginable weight. We're here to listen, take one step at a time, that's all you can do!
But ... you've passed the two-month mark and that's amazing! That's some achievement!!!
If someone offered me a John Rolfe this morning it'd be all over
Isn't this supposed to get easier.
One puff will take you back to step one. Is it really worth it?
The other day at the garage I stopped and looked at the stinky boxes. I don't do it often since, you know, quiting. But the cigarette boxes got very colorful. And the flavors are amazing. Got offered a drag by a colleague and I can say it gets easier to say no. But the appeal will always be there.
I've been vaping for about 4 years now and although I have no desire to smoke a stinkie, I love the smell of fresh tobacco i.e. out in the open, not in a room. So I love sitting near smokers!
Well, my big test is coming up. I'll be coordinating our annual shutdown from tomorrow up until the 27th. Very stressful and long, hard days. If I make this without a stinkie I'll be feeling much more confident that I can make it stick. Still dual using with the IQOS, but mostly in the mornings when I wake up and then over to vaping. Might not be very active on the forum but will check in when I can. Will also be mtl'ing it mostly as not to offend the crowds of people in the smoking area. So 12mg here I come.
Vasbyt!!!
Good luck!
Been a while since I posted here, or anywhere on the forum really. Partly due to internal politics, and partly because between work being hectic and me feeling a bit more depressed than usual I have just not really been in the mood for sharing what's in my hand or such things. The good news is that I have stayed off the stinkies, although I have been utilizing my IQOS a tad more than I would like. Mostly been vaping on my Drag X's since I don't really have the energy or desire to pit stop anything. Thankfully the Expromizer V4 I am borrowing from @Befo5 and the very. very coil friendly Raspberry Pineapple from @ivc_mixer I have had a vape for driving and something to blow some clouds with.
Hoping my mood will improve and I can pit-stop a few RTA's and try out some samples that have been long overdue for tasting and using some more gear for variety's sake.
Hoping my mood will improve and I can pit-stop a few RTA's and try out some samples that have been long overdue for tasting and using some more gear for variety's sake.
@Viper_SA Coincidentally, I was thinking just last night that we haven't heard from you in a while and that I must give you a shout on the forum! Sorry that you're feeling depressed. It too will pass. Well done on staying off the stinkies. That's something to be proud of!!!!
well done !
And so 6 months have come and gone. Was exactly 6 months since my last stinkie on the 6th of September. I'm still dual using a bit with the iqos HEETS, but no stinkies. My previous record was 7 months, so here's to hoping I'll stay on the wagon this time. Trying times though. My mom's health is not good at all, work is hectic and the complex where I live is going through a very turbulent time if I can put it that way. Two side fighting over who should be in charge and I know picking sides will piss off someone that can give me crap about some stuff on either side. So the urge and temptation is very real, but I also realise that a stinkie won't solve the problem and make it magically go away.
Thanks to all those that support and encourage me everyday. Even if you don't know it.
Thanks to all those that support and encourage me everyday. Even if you don't know it.
nice one
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